There are more than two characters in your menopause story. Can we talk about that?

There are more than two characters in your menopause story. Can we talk about that?

by | May 26, 2020 | menopause, peri-menopause

Menopause is not just a conversation about ovaries and oestrogen.

[May 2020]

It’s also adrenals, thyroid and digestion, testosterone, insulin, cortisol, HGH and more.

And most importantly, there’s YOU – who you are, and all of the other things going on in your life right now, right in the middle of it all.

You are MORE than your hormones!

If we only talked about ovaries and oestrogen, we’d be missing out HUGE pieces of the jigsaw puzzle.

The very same puzzle that brings you back to you, the real you underneath all the hormonal crap.
You’re still under there by the way.

Yeah, I’m well aware of how confusing and overwhelming it sounds, but don’t reach for that search engine just yet!

All the women I’ve helped so far (I lost count in the hundreds), all found their symptoms were improved by taking some action on a ‘base’ of:

  • Drinking more water than anything else
    Even if you end up drinking coffee later, let’s at least set the intention for more water.
  • Taking practical steps to improve sleep quality
    I know you don’t want to hear it, but the bedtime habits really do count!
  • Appropriate exercise
    Not all exercise is ‘right’ for every woman
  • Eating for hormonal balance
    Instead of fixating on calories or weight loss, the latter comes as a nice side-effect when we do the above
  • Doing some ‘life laundry’ and addressing stress
    Just start with the smaller piles that feel manageable, ok?

I’m not saying your problems aren’t bigger than this, I’m saying that if we’re really going to alleviate the layers of symptoms you might be experiencing, we need to start with the big rocks first.

It may be that along the way, we discover you need a little extra help with something. That might lead onto supporting you for digestive health, or hormonal therapy, or herbal supplements.

I’ve never met anyone who didn’t feel some improvement from fine-tuning their ‘base’ strategies, starting with the above.
Which starts to build the confidence and belief in yourself, that you have got what it takes to work on the rest.

I know that it seems a bit ‘far fetched’ for this to be true, and I know that nobody really wants to be doing it.
Drinking water and eating vegetables instead of hobnobs is BORING!
(if you don’t know how to make it enjoyable, that is)

Most people overlook the 5 points above. I’ve had clients tell me they didn’t think it would work for them, that my approach sounded too simple.

I get it.

But the low moods, sleep problems, hot flushes, belly fat, heavy periods, PMT, emotional outbursts, they really DID improve.
Take a quick scroll through this page to see what they said themselves.

Daily actions form the basis of survive or thrive. Sink or swim.
It’s the basis, not the everything. We have to start somewhere, and this is it.

Even with medication (which I’m not against btw), we can’t take a detour around the base habits.

If it sounds simple, surely that’s a reason to give a go, not a reason to dismiss it?

If you’ve not yet joined my online community – Finding Yourself In Menopause – then check it out by clicking the link below.

It’s available to all women at any age or stage of menopause.

If you want support not just information, proper answers and discussions about what really matters to you, here’s the link:

Finding Yourself In Menopause

The 3 things I’ve learnt from NOT going sugar free, even though it’s the one thing that all the health gurus go on about.

The 3 things I’ve learnt from NOT going sugar free, even though it’s the one thing that all the health gurus go on about.

by | May 8, 2020 | menopause

One — Doing Things My Way

Doing things my way, not only gives me more freedom over how I ‘do’ healthy, but it also gives me back my confidence in myself. 

Striving to be sugar-free might well be the best thing for my hormones, but it’s also the worst thing for my mind. 

Whenever I broke the rule by calling in at the shop on the way home for a packet of chocolate buttons, it felt like yet more evidence against ever being able to sort myself out. 

I stopped setting rules around food and set myself up to win instead, with simple agreements for what I really wanted, when and how often.

Two — Restriction

We all know that the more you restrict something, the more you want it. 

What I didn’t realise though, was that by trying to cut out sugar, I was also restricting my ability to just do something without overthinking. One biscuit is just a biscuit. It’s not a declaration of my inability to stick to something, or of my life going down the drain (unless I decide it is).

Definitions are important, and they can become a real problem a long time before you realise you’re using someone else’s. 

Three — Sugar

As I found my way to a more sustainable relationship with sugar, I was also more willing to look at other areas in my life where boundaries and definitions were an issue.

Things about myself that I hadn’t really considered tackling before – with work, personal relationships – I felt in a stronger position to be able to consider doing these ‘my way’ as well. As I built up a bank of self-trust around things that had previously kicked me in the ovaries, this new confidence leaked into other areas of my life. Once I realised it was happening, I actively encouraged more of it.

I get that removing refined sugar out of your life is likely one of the best things you could do, when it comes to addressing anxiety, low energy, disrupted sleep, hot flushes, skin, digestive health, and there’s tons more I could list.

I know all the science behind it. 

If you want to do that, to remove it completely –  I’ll support you all the way. 

What I’d love even more, is for you to find and establish your own boundaries with it. 

What’s acceptable, to you? 

What feels right, for you?

What fits with your self respect? 

What’s sustainable, for you?

Of course we all know that sugar is the devil and is more addictive than cocaine, or whatever it is they say. But if you ask me, the feelings you have towards yourself after you’ve just tripped head first into a family bag of maltesers, are far more destructive than eating the sugar itself. 

I know that was true for me.

So the problem isn’t all about the sugar, then?

Until you define yourself without food or sugar, you’ll always be letting your drug of choice define you. 

If you’ve not yet joined the online community – Finding Yourself In Menopause – then click the link below.

Our community is available to all women who are wanting support not just information, real answers and discussion of what really matters to you. 

Finding Yourself In Menopause

May 2020

Put The Weapons Down

Put The Weapons Down

by | Apr 22, 2020 | menopause

Menopause Is Not a war, But It Is a Call To Action

[May 2020]

I think there are many women and even many of my friends, who haven’t realised yet that they are peri-menopausal.

Well, how would they know?

(unless they’re in my group or read my Womanual, lol)

Which means, there are many women still focused on:

  • Calorie-controlled diets to get rid of the belly fat
  • ‘Catching up’ on sleep at the weekend, yet wondering why they still feel tired
  • Blaming work for the increased stress and overwhelm
  • Blaming tiredness / stress for the lack of libido
  • Wondering why anxiety / depression started to creep in on the scene.

When there’s already a lot going on in your life, it can be hard to know what’s really down to menopause, or not.

But the truth of it is, everything you do and all the habits you have, will have some affect on how well you cope in menopause.

I’ve heard some women talk about menopause like they’re going into war, but that’s not a fight I want to help you with.

I’m 40 (you could look more surprised than that, just sayin’) and staring peri-menopause in the face.

It’s not an aggressive staring match though.

I look her in the face, so I can get to know her a bit more. I’ve chosen it to be this way, now, whilst the decision is perhaps a little easier.

You see, I’m curious and I want to be friends, I don’t want a battle for the next 15+ years

(‘cos that’s how long we could be living together for)

I like to stand up for myself but I absolutely hate arguments, and that’s exactly the approach I’m now taking into this next decade.

I still have monthly periods but they don’t always show up in exactly the same way they used to.

My body shape is changing, even my face is changing and that feels weird to me.

Sometimes I feel like a paranoid teenager. Subtle changes, but definitely happening.

The more I ignore it, the worse I could be making it for myself, in later years.

Why would I even do that to myself?

Nobody wants to think of themselves as getting older, I’m the same as you

(and we are both still 23 on the inside, right?)

Plus there’s this thing of putting my fingers in my ears:

‘la la la it’s not happening’

But if we continue doing that, we’re both wasting valuable time, when we could be becoming more resilient, courageous and knowledgeable about what we can do about all these changes.

Accepting your hormones are changing, is definitely not the same thing as getting old before your time,

or letting yourself go.

You don’t need to get all fired up and pissed off about it. This isn’t a fight to be had.

Although believe me, I’ve seen enough women try.

The last couple of years for me in particular, have really shown that there is so much to gain. It’s not all about ‘loss and decline’.

At the same time, ‘just putting up with it’, and pretending ‘it’s not that bad’, are not effective strategies.

Somewhere in the middle, there’s something to be said about intuition, leaning in and supporting yourself (without standing on an island).

Actually there’s ALOT to be said about that last bit.

I promise I’ll keep sharing about it.

If you’ve not yet joined my online community – Finding Yourself In Menopause – then check out the link below.

We are available to all women who are seeking support not just information.

Finding Yourself In Menopause