If you’re feeling stressed, anxious, generally not feeling great mentally or emotionally – what do you do, to shift it quickly?
[June 2023]
There’s a lot of advice out there in the world of health and wellness, as preventative strategies.
Things you could choose do to help take a side-step around anxiety, emotional rollercoasters, low moods, irritability.
For example.. eat for blood sugar regulation, do what you can to support sleep, engage in different types of meditation or mind-body activities that feel soothing.
HOWEVER…
What about IN THE MOMENT, when it all gets too much?
When you’re irritable and upset, anxious and overwhelmed?
When the freedom of being able to choose is hijacked by the primitive part of your brain, so you might feel really stuck…
What then?
I’m not going to suggest protein and fibre in those moments. Or meditation apps.
Or supplements that we know are supportive of brain health!
‘In the moment’, even if that lasts a few hours or a whole day,
you need a way to move through those low feelings.
Because I promise you, it will shift again.
How can you make that happen, so how you feel doesn’t derail your day?
When you’re starting to spiral within yourself, when it’s overwhelming and upsetting and you just feel lost in all those feelings that start to resemble despair…
There’s TWO things you need to do,
and it doesn’t matter which order you them but I do want you to do them as soon as you can.
1.) Tell someone how you’re feeling
Tell someone you trust will hear you, even if they don’t exactly relate or know what to do. Being there to listen IS helping.
I encourage my clients to write a post in our community. Or to send me a message.
Say it in three words or three hundred. Whatever you can.
It’s important you break the feeling of isolation.
2.) Move
Move your body, try to avoid staying still.
It could look like… going up and down the stairs a few times.
Or circling your shoulders whilst standing up.
Swaying from side to side, looking around the room as you twist your body.
Or 10 jumping jacks.
Or a walk with the dog, any dog lol, that starts slow and then gets a bit faster.
Or it could be lying on the floor, bringing knees to chest and back down again, stretching your arms overhead.
All the other helpful things, like what you eat, how you exercise, supplements, what you do for sleep etc
they’re all great, are still worth the effort and DO work.
(you know caffeine and sugar exacerbate stress, low moods and low energy, right?)
The helpful preventative strategies, the benefits of lifestyle choices are running in the background, and sometimes you need something now, in the moment.
It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you as such, and perhaps how you’re feeling is a reasonable response to other things happening,
but you do need to do something differently to move through it.
There’s no single ‘right answer’ for this, and the two things I’ve shared above have come from years of helping not only myself but hundreds of other women, too.
This is a topic we frequently revisit in the Finding Yourself In Menopause, online community.
If you’ve not yet joined my online community – Finding Yourself In Menopause – then check out the link below.
We are available to all women who are seeking support not just information.
There was a specific moment as a child, when I realised that not everyone lived like my family.
I know you’re just dying for me to say we lived in a tin hut up a mountain.
That would have been very cool, but untrue.
I was ten maybe eleven when my whole class travelled to the Lake District, to spend a week in an old farmhouse. A kind of outward-bound type of trip.
Picture a dusty dormitory of bunkbeds, ghosts hiding in every corner, a stream to play/fall in, surrounded by mountains begging to be explored.
A proper middle of nowhere place, absolutely idyllic, probably a nightmare for the teachers.
Definitely a nightmare for the bus driver, who couldn’t drive the whole way down the track.
And my idea of heaven. Home away from home. Not that we lived in a farmhouse, but I was brought up on mud pies, poprivets and bailing twine.
I took my own walking boots instead of having to wear some from the pool of borrowed gear, so, y’know, that gave me a boost of confidence and I felt like a pro.
At a time in life when I didn’t feel very confident about very much at all.
It didn’t phase me one bit that for the whole trip, it was absolutely bloody freezing.
A lot of my friends complained of the cold and the fact that there was no central heating.
And that right there was the moment.
Central heating?
I didn’t really know what they meant by that.
At our house, every day when we came home from school, mum would ‘set the fire’ and then light it. Sometimes a helping hand with some old oil from the garage.
And of course the Rayburn stove was going for most of the year, too. That wasn’t so unusal for where I lived, in a rural community.
So, I just assumed everyone else was the same as us.
You just don’t know, what you don’t know.
Until you do know. And then it’s like.. whaat? why didn’t I know this before?!
I hear those words fairly regularly, from the women I help. Not because of childhood memories. Because of midlife and menopause.
You don’t know, what you don’t know.
In my experience, it’s definitely worth assuming that there’s always something more to learn, to understand.
Some of the most dangerous (as in, holding you back) words sound like “I already know that”.
I’ve heard a small handful clients say that, over the last seven years.
Sadly, it held them back. They weren’t as open to hearing different perspectives, and I really can’t do that bit for you.
Curiosity on the other hand, that can really take you somewhere.
If you’re curious, and want to find out more, get in touch with the link below. I’d love to hear from you.
It’s one of the most common phrases I hear; “I just want to feel like the old me again”
Some women tell me they feel lost, drifting Many more women tell me they feel tired. Physically and mentally ‘tired in my bones’ and also ‘tired of’ doing all the things, So yeah, no wonder you want to go back to how things were.
Now, I know you value honesty and you’re willing to face facts, especially when there is guidance involved and not just cold reality. If you’ve heard yourself saying ‘I just want to feel like the old me again’, and you’re also ready for my advice, then here it is…
Hormones have an influence on so many of the internal processes in your body/mind, I know you know that. With hormonal shifts affecting neurotransmitters in the brain, and those shifts feeling unpredictable, of course you want to go back.
Most women tell me they ‘just know’ things are different inside, because they feel it.
Thing is, trying to be the person you were, do the things you did in the way you did in your 30’s and early 40’s, without any respect for the shifts and changed going on inside? -it would literally be like swimming against the tide. Doesn’t mean you can’t feel better, though. A lot better.
I’m certainly not advocating ‘getting old before your time’. I am definitely encouraging you to honour the changes that are happening now, and will continue to happen.
There will always be change, in life and in your body.
I see these peri menopause years as a direct invite from Mother Gaia, to readjust, revise, reconsider what’s going on for you and why. Allow her that invite, really look at it, consider what it could provide you with rather than what might be taken away. Confidence, intuition, motivation, truly loving yourself, It’s all there for the taking, when you know how.
Hey, I know it sounds a bit fanciful, but of all the women I’ve helped over the years, it’s the ones who are able to make these course corrections and adjustments (to what they’re doing, to who they’re being), the ones who start to take a deeper view of how to respect this time for themselves, they’re the ones who tell me how much better they feel. They’re the ones I get messages from, to tell me how things are so much different for them now. Not because they feel exactly the same as they used to, but because they’ve decided who they want to be.
Feeling better and more yourself is about allowing the change, not battling against it. It’s about understanding what’s happening and knowing what you can do. Don’t underestimate the confidence that can come from knowing you’re on the right path, in all ways. Personally, physically, mentally, nutritionally, spiritually. How you feel, it’s not just about the hormones.
We used to call it ‘the change’ here in the UK, and whilst I prefer to give ourselves the correct terminology, the concept is still true. It is a time of change, of course it is. But all too often, it’s talked about in terms of unruly, unmanageable change. Yeah, there is some of that involved but also, let’s not downplay the changes we can make ourselves.
In a body (and a life) that is constantly changing, feeling more ‘you’, isn’t necessarily about going back to how things were. Rarely will anyone hold the same beliefs, values, goals and dreams their entire life. You change, you upgrade. You’ve changed, you see, in so many ways.
I know these current changes you’re going through aren’t all desirable or of your own choosing, but they do provide an opportunity. To get really super clear on what’s important to you. And oh my, what a platform on which to dive off, to live the next chapter of your life.
Honour this by serving yourself a huge slice of well deserved self-compassion. And then by slowly and steadily making some decisions about your current direction – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. What’s right for you – now, at this time? (we’ve been looking at this in more detail over in my membership group, get in touch if you want the details).
I know you just want to feel normal, more like you again.
If you’ve had enough of trying to make sense of it all on your own, get in touch. Let’s take it step by step, together.
The thing with alleviating menopause symptoms, is that treating each problem as a separate issue, isn’t going to work very well. It could be hot sweats, weight gain, disturbed sleep, low energy, or many others I could mention.Trying to alleviate each symptom as they arise, can become a frustrating battle with yourself.
Way back in the early days of my menopause coaching, I was taught the ‘systems over symptoms’ approach by the remarkable Jessica Drummond in the US. This, combined with the knowledge I’d already gained from Burrell Education on their ‘peri to post menopause programme’ for health practitioners, both transformed the conversations and the experiences I was having with my clients.
I want to show you how you can harness this essential information and apply it, for yourself.
There are three essential elements for hormonal balance:
Liver health
Brain and Adrenal gland health
Blood sugar management
What does this even mean?
In a nutshell, it means supporting the body systems which have the strongest effect on what the hormones are doing.
As the largest organ in your body, your liver is the ultimate multi-tasker. On its daily / nightly jobs list are several hundred essential functions. There’s a hormonal clean-up operation on that list which would be greatly beneficial in terms of how your menopause symptoms are making you feel.
The adrenal glands do what they say on the tin, release adrenaline (adrenal-ine) when you need to react quickly. But – there’s a bit more to it that is really worth understanding, because these teeny glands have a huge role to play in how you feel in any given moment.
Optimal blood sugar management isn’t just for diabetics, oh no. Getting this bit nailed, can be make or break for everything from weight gain to anxiety and sleep.
I’ve been talking about these three things since about 2016. It’s easy to overlook them because the reality is, the practical application of this triad doesn’t sound quite as convincing or as sciencey (as someone with a BSc and MSc I’m reckon I can say sciencey is a real word).
For example, ‘eat lots of vegetables, drink water, be sure to poo often, take time off to do fun things that light you up, have a regular bedtime routine’ See what I mean? It doesn’t sound as appealing as my triad on first glance, above.
So why do those three things underpin ALL my advice?
Liver Health
The liver is the main centre for oestrogen balance. Get this bit ‘right’ and you can reduce your symptoms dramatically. Particularly oestrogen dominance issues like weight gain, sore breasts, PMT, reduced libido, irritability, disturbed sleep.
The majority of the processes for making and clearing away oestrogen (oestradial, for most of your life) happens in the liver. Remember though, it’s not the liver’s only job.
Your body is so clever (hell bent on survival) that if you’re inadvertently giving your liver extra clearing up jobs to do (e.g. excessive sugar, alcohol), or you’re not getting enough rest and downtime to allow the hormonal processes to occur, you’re already sabotaging the system. The result is just as you’d guessed; increased severity of symptoms.
Adrenal Gland Health
You have two adrenal glands, one sitting on the top of each kidney. Think of walnuts and you’re not far off the size. Small things that pack a powerful punch.
Every time your brain decides you’re in a fight / flight / freeze situation (real or perceived), your adrenal glands get the message to release adrenaline, to help ‘keep you going’. At this point, body resources including the jobs of the liver, are diverted towards survival.
Hormonal balance is shifted away from ‘thrive’ and menopause symptoms are more likely to occur here. Once the situation calms down, adrenaline dissipates and all is well again.
Think of an exciting rollercoaster ride or running for the train. Your body is designed to cope well with this short, sharp stress (or not, depending on how much you hate rollercoasters haha).
This is fine, until the source of fight / flight / freeze becomes more than a temporary event. When it’s a continual occurrence e.g. stress at work, unresolved problems at home, continual alerts on your phone, no time for you to relax… it becomes a cortisol issue AND a menopause issue.
The more we ask the adrenal glands to release cortisol (I use the word ‘ask’ with some sarcasm), the more the body pours its hormone building and balancing resources into making stress hormones. Chronic cortisol competes with the calming and sleep promoting progesterone. It can feel like a jittery anxiousness and tiredness, at the same time.
This is the reasoning behind my advice around taking proper time off, winding down in the evenings with a short bedtime routine, sprinkling some self-care through the day, giving yourself five minutes to breath slowly and deeply, not relying on caffeine and sugary carbs to get through the day.
The other reason for taking care of your adrenal glands, is that they produce the DHEA hormone which is a precursor to oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone. Once the ovaries retire, this becomes even more important. Well worth looking after that little hormone factory.
Blood sugar management
Nope, not diabetes. Same hormones though. As we get older (not just related to menopause), you become less sensitive to insulin – the hormone which has a key role to play in managing the amount of sugar (or teeny tiny carbs, as they’ve been broken down into teeny tiny molecules).
This means, you naturally need more insulin to get the same response in the body. That’s ok, your body can work with that, it’s normal. But if you keep promoting the release of insulin beyond the normal and expected (snack between meals, fruit at every meal etc), it will lead to an increased tendency for anxiety, tiredness, weight gain, potentially sleep issues and hot sweats too.
If you’ve followed me for more than five minutes you’ll know my love of saying ‘protein and natural fats at every meal’. Well, this is a large part of the reasoning behind that advice.
Keeping blood sugar levels stable can mean a few changes in daily habits, but it really is worth it for the pay-off can be weight loss, improved moods, better sleep, improved focus and concentration, reduced hot flushes.
As with any cool sounding triad (the great pyramids, the fire triangle, the three bears.. any more, anyone??), each side relies on each other. It’s a dependent relationship. Taking action on one side, helps the others, doing something for all three, and you’re starting to feel better.
Once the three sides are in place, even if in a small way, we can start to make progress with the fun stuff – to find ‘you’ again.
As always, you choose where you start. I’ll encourage you from this page, or get in touch and I can help you a little more closely to speed up the process of feeling back to normal.
We’ve got very used to ‘doing’ health in the same way, along the lines of… you detect something isn’t quite right, you look for how to alleviate the problem.It’s the accepted way, to use a specific treatment for an ailment or problem. For example; you feel pain, so you take painkillers. Or you cut your finger, so you put a plaster on it. The problem or the pain is what you’re both feeling AND treating, and often in a very direct way.
Menopause though, doesn’t quite play by the same rules.
The hormonal changes of menopause can bring discomfort, irritation, aches and pains in lots of ways, which I’ve talked about previously in other blog posts, in emails and in my online community. But if you try to use that same principle to treat menopause symptoms, the way you’ve dealt with so many other sources of discomfort throughout your life, you may well find that you’re still trying to find the solution to it, many months on.
The problems of menopause, whether they are physical (e.g. disrupted sleep, low energy, dry skin) or mental (e.g. anxiety, brain fog, anger etc.) or both; cannot be entirely solved unless we go beyond the symptoms themselves.
Menopause symptoms are exactly that – they point towards a problem. And to really alleviate the issue, you’ll need to look further than the declining levels of sex steroid hormones. If you only treat the symptom e.g you look for something to improve your mood or your discomfort at a superficial level, you’ll also get temporary results.
Before we get on to discuss some helpful herbs for menopause, I want to be clear on what the purpose of it is…. to support what you’re already doing (or perhaps need to do). No judgement from me at all, we’ve all got things we need to work on, me included.
Herbs are extremely powerful, but without three key building blocks in place first, they’re unlikely to produce the effect you’re really looking for.
What are the three building blocks? These underpin every single piece of my advice, whether you read my blogs, join my free community, read my emails or become a client. It’s not something whimsical, this is science-based health advice for any woman over the age of 35 years (when hormones begin to prepare for this phase of your life).
Three essential elements for hormonal balance:
Liver health
Adrenal gland health
Blood sugar regulation
What does this even mean?
In a nutshell, it means supporting the body systems which have the strongest effect on what the hormones are doing.You can wait for my next blog post for me to explain that – or you could have a private consultation where I’ll not only help you understand it but also help you to implement it for maximum effect. Just get in touch if you’d like to speed up the process.
When you’re taking these three things into account on a daily basis, your symptoms will reduce AND any herbs or supplements you do take are more likely to work.
What are ‘Helpful Herbs’?
These are plants which provide a supportive effect in the body. Remember, we’re not looking for something to treat the ailment directly. It’s more about supporting body systems which themselves regulate the presence / absence / severity of the symptoms. You’d be forgiven for thinking I’m going to list out herbs with weird sounding names from far-away countries (and an expensive label to match). But no, we’ll not start there. Because some of the really useful herbs are just ordinary plants, containing very useful compounds. Below are a few that you may have overlooked or may have misunderstood. Of course, this is not an exhaustive list.
Garlic, Parsley, Coriander.
They might not sound particularly special, but I really do encourage my clients to eat these. Let’s start with garlic.
Part of the ‘alium’ family, garlic has a long and well-known history as a medicinal plant, due to anti-bacterial and anti-fungal properties. Plus, the promotion of healthy cholesterol levels (absolutely crucial for any woman over 40 years), and assisting with cardiovascular health – due to promoting blood flow and lowering blood pressure.
Parsley and coriander – when used as fresh herbs – can be helpful in providing a tasty dose of anti-inflammatory compounds (inflammation increases as part of menopause), alongside the all important fibre. Both of which are crucial for liver health. They also provide energy-boosting B vitamins and heart healthy compounds to aid with cholesterol function (hormones are formed out of cholesterol).
Sage (Salvia officinalis) is another anti-oxidant and anti-inflammatory herb, with extra benefits for assisting with blood sugar regulation and improving cognitive health. This makes it a popular choice for alleviating hot flushes and memory.
It’s definitely useful, but once again, taking this herb won’t override a bowl of granola or half a packet of hobnobs (sugar will exacerbate all menopause symptoms).
Cleavers (Galium aparine) are those sticky leaves and tendrils that we used to tease each other with as children. Or maybe still, as adults.
Apart from the comical stickiness of the plant, when used as a tincture it also has exceptional properties to aid with the lymphatic system and the kidneys. This herb is useful (as a cold tea) if you feel that menopause has increased your internal thermostat to a somewhat uncomfortable temperature. Not just for hot flushes, but general internal heat.
Nettle (Urtica dioica) has been used for centuries as pain relief and an anti-inflammatory and there are some potential benefits for managing blood sugar and blood pressure, too. Research has focused mainly on using this plant to steep fresh leaves, as nettle tea. As always, it would be best to consult with a herbalist before using yourself as a garden experiment.
Seabuckthorn (Hippophae rhamnoides) is a familiar sight to me at my beachside home, on the East coast of Scotland. This shrub is common throughout Europe, too. I’ve included it here because of it’s high vitamin C content, one of the highest plant sources known to woman!
Used as a juice or a tea, the berries are a great source of carotenoids, vit E and K, which provide powerful anti-oxidants and some cardiovascular benefits too. The presence of omega 7 also warrants a mention here, as one of the less-well known omegas with a beneficial role in helping to support moisture levels in the body. Vaginal dryness? Dry eyes? Seabuckthorn could well help.
Adaptogenic herbs are a broad class of herbs which have a supportive effect for the adrenal system, to help regulate stress hormones including cortisol.
They have a direct effect on the pituitary, hypothalamus and adrenal glands – to require less ‘work’ from the adrenals to produce the same effect in the body. The result is a feeling of reduced fatigue, stress and improved stamina, but as mentioned earlier, only when other practical actions are being taken in parallel. Remember, none of these herbs are miracle workers, you’ll still need to ‘address’ the issues at the core of your symptoms.
I wouldn’t want to rely on using adaptogens on a permanent basis, but there certainly have been times when I’ve used carefully selected herbs. I find them most useful when I have both physical and emotional stress e.g. managing an illness or depression, and also dealing with stressful situations. Or, when I’m in need of a helping hand for focusing at work or coping with fatigue.
Ashwagandha (Withania somnifera) is commonly used as a tea or a capsule. It has a calming action on the body, and can be quite soporific.
Siberian ginseng (Eleutherococcus senticosus) is another common one. It is doing a similar job to the Ashwagandha – to support the adrenal glands – but some women find it quite energising.
Maca root (Lepidium meyenii) is a Peruvian herb originally given as an aphrodisiac, so be warned this one can be strong! This one is not recommended if you have clinical or sub clinical thyroid issues.
Not all so-called ‘menopause herbs’ will be helpful for all women.
There are many other herbs we could talk about (e.g. Chaste tree berry / Vitex agnus-castus, black cohosh) but these are definitely best prescribed on a ‘case by case’ basis, rather than a ‘good for all’. There are important contraindications to consider, especially when prescribed medications are also being taken, as is often the case.
Plus, not all herbs will provide the same effect in all women. It’s dependent upon your own unique internal environment, not just the key foundations for hormonal balance as discussed further up the page.
For example, Chaste tree berry is often used in the hope that it will regulate menstrual cycles by stimulating the ovaries to produce oestrogen and progesterone. But if there are no follicles on the ovaries left to stimulate, this is a bit like pressing the doorbell when nobody’s actually at home. Pointless, and frustrating. The main message here is – consult a medical herbalist before self-prescribing your own herbs.
Medical Disclaimer Please note: Do not use these herbs without first consulting a medical practitioner particularly if you are on medication for blood pressure, blood thinners, have sub-clinical or clinical diagnoses, if pregnant or breast-feeding. If these herbs are new to you, please try a small amount due to the risk of allergic reactions.
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